Retired with Children

Do I look like Al Bundy? Probably not...or maybe I should say, Please...I hope not!

But this week I began to understand how poor Al felt about the whole dealing-with-a-situation-he-hadn't-signed-up-for thing.

When my husband and I decided to have three kids in four years, we were only thinking diapers and formula. We forgot about Little League games being at the same time on opposite ends of town. We forgot about parent/teacher conferences, never-ending snacks, dual proms. Heck, let's just cut to the real money chase. We forgot about college!

There's nothing like the arrogance of the ignorant! LOL

Fast forward lots of years and we survived. What got us through most of those years was knowing the end was in sight. We made a pledge to stick together, no matter what the issue. We knew that if we divided they would conquer. After all, they had us beaten in numbers. So we stuck together. We hung tight, all the while whispering in bed that someday soon they would graduate and move away.

That didn't mean we didn't love them. Exactly the opposite. It was because we adored them that we wanted them to fly the nest, make something of themselves, experiment, try, fail, succeed. Child rearing is hard work and the mark of success is independent children.

Unfortunately, nobody explained any of this to the economy!

My poor daughter would kill to be able to afford her own apartment...well, maybe not kill but you catch my drift. Who wants to live with her overly creative mom who sometimes sings her conversations because she gets a song stuck in her head? Or a dad who still likes to jump out from behind doors and scare her the way he did when she was thirteen and loved horror movies?

I sometimes think our situation would be a fantastic sit-com. Except when I really think it through my daughter would be the normal one and my husband and I would be the crazies.

But, oddly, there's a part of me that likes that. I think Kathy Bates would make a really great me. She could play me the same way she plays Harriet in Harry's Law on NBC on Monday nights.

And Hulk Hogan could be my husband. (Except my husband is unapologetically bald. Which I think is sexy...Another reason my daughter would dig a tunnel under her bedroom if she could.)

Have I scared you yet? Taking that cold, hard look at my daughter's situation I've actually scared myself. Kathy Bates and Hulk Hogan? Good Lord, it's a wonder she doesn't have post traumatic stress disorder! Or maybe she will if the economy ever turns around enough that she can move out!

So maybe we'll behave. Well, I'll behave. I can't speak for Hulk. He is his own guy.

susan