Last week, we talked a bit about being overbusy and procrastinating...looking at our schedules to find a place where we could find a block of time to do our work.
If you did the assignment of looking at your schedule and finding your block of time...give yourself a round of applause.
If not, maybe your procrastination problem isn't finding time. Maybe you have fear success or fear of failure.
Most of you who read this blog are writers. You THINK you want to be published. But every time you sit down to write....oh, my...you are bombarded by thoughts like...Really? You think you can compete with the likes of Nora Roberts? Seriously? You think your book is going to be that good?
Or things like...change that opening...it's not good. Or, go back to the beginning and start over. Don't move forward.
Or things like...this book/story/article isn't working. Stop this and go work on another idea.
Things things are not your internal editor. Nope. They are fear of failure/fear of success nudges that you are getting from your subconscious.
You can't fight them with opposing comments...Well, you could. You could say, Yes I am good enough...Now get lost subconscious. I want to write this book...and for some of you that would be enough.
But for some of you it won't be. It might work for one day then you'll find yourself fighting those doubt demons again.
You guys have to look deeper. You have to figure out why you fear success or failure so much that you let your subconscious drive your insane.
So look deeper. Why do you fear success? Why do you fear failure?
Most of us can say, well, duh. I don't want to put myself out there and then be embarrassed.
So don't put yourself out there. Don't tell anybody that you're working on a book. Let it be your own special project. A secret, like a lover that you race to at the end of a long day or first thing in the morning. Don't share. Then, if you fall flat on your face, no one will know. It's sort of like when you wear a thong for the first time...you don't tell anybody. You just do it.
Your writing should be that private. Until you sell your first book. Then you are allowed to stand on the rooftop of your choice and shout.
So that's fear of failure. Don't set a benchmark. Don't tell anyone what you're doing. Keep your work a secret and work on it for your own pleasure until you get it right...
Fear of success is a little more complicated... We'll look at that next week.
susan
And don't forget SECOND CHANCE BABY! Pick up a copy and help feed my cats...and pay my mortgage. LOL (Actually, now that I think about it that's not a joke.)
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2 comments:
Thank you for this post today. I think I have a little of both - part of me is afraid to fail. To write the book means to find out if I really have "it". If I really can try to make a go at this. If I don't finish the book then I never find out that I'm not good enough.
On the other hand, part of me feels like success would be bittersweet. My mom always encourgaged me to write. She kept asking year after year when I was going to write my book. She's gone now, and I'm almost ashamed that I waited until she passed away to start working on it. Getting published would really be missing something special that it could have had if I'd gotten past that fear of failure thing sooner.
You know, Sabrina, you probably spent more time with your mom because you weren't writing.
So let go of that and maybe make this book a tribute to her.
Remember, too, that even if this book isn't the one that catches a publisher's eye, you can write as many books as you want.
It took me six books (or 7...I forget) before I got published. Now I'm glad I spent all tht time working through my writing rough points, things I needed to learn.
It led the way for a wonderful career. I've made fantastic friends. Met wonderful fans. Written books that I enjoyed writing!
So, dedicate this book to your mom and write.
Enjoy the process!
susan
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